think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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