Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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