things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
