Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
