OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I can tuck mytits in my pants
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
