so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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