it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
