their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
