Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
