Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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