my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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