By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
