I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
