Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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