no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
