Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
