nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
