Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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