I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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