I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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