i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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