Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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