I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
