I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
