Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
