I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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