I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You pole danced in your parka.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
