dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
