haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
