Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
