Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
