hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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