we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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