so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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