i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
