If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
