when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
