On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
