Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
