I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
