So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
