I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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