we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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