New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
