Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
