i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
