I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
