This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
