I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
