yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
