I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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