the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
