I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize
