Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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