living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
